id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
