Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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