so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She even gives head with a lisp.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
