Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
