I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just gargled with NyQuil
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
