I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
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Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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