When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
