Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
