Fuck appropriateness.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
