There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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