I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Barsexuality is the new black.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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