i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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