Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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