This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
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She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
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ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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