The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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