I heard we made out
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
