I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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