Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
