then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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