On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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