I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
