If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
