you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
