Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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