Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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