I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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