Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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