ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Life without a bra equals bliss.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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