Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
