I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
