I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize