i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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