It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
But we have bathrooms and they dont
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
