There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
