I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
