Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
