Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
