I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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