I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
you had me at cake vodka
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
