I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
