I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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