3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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