I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
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