His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize