she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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