found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
