is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
its liver damage thursday
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
