I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
