No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
