i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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