its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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