My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
A bitchslap is in order.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
