Can Purell be used as lube?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
