Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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