The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
