I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
