Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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