saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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