in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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