Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
